His Spiritual Reflections
VOLUME 3
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VOLUME 3
This is a dull day with me; my mind is sadly heavy. I see with my judgment the great truths which this day commemorates; that He who enjoyed the glory of the Father before the world was, came down, emptied Himself, and became a wailing infant for our sakes. I see that it was unutterable love, but I seem incapable of feeling any thing. I have got up early this last week, and have had some three quarters, or an hour, for private devotion in a morning. I hoped to have perceived on this day the blessed effects of it; but I believe I have too much reckoned on it as a settled thing, as any effect follows its cause. Res delicata est Spiritus Dei.* Perhaps this dull, spiritless frame is designed as a punishment to me for this thought. But this same course, with more constant humility and watchfulness, must be right. O Lord, enable me to press on. How wonderful is this callousness! a sort of mental paralysis. It may not however be without its uses; it may make me feel more how absolutely helpless I am in myself; may keep me more simply dependent on the grace and Spirit of God. O Lord, I know not what I am, but to Thee I flee for refuge! I would surrender myself to Thee, trusting Thy precious promises, and against hope believing in hope. Thou art the same yesterday, to-day, and for ever; and therefore however cold and dull I am, yet, waiting on the Lord, I trust I shall at length renew my strength. Even now my heart seems to grow warmer; oh let me fall again to prayer and praise, and implore fresh supplies of strength and grace.
*The Spirit of God is a delicate thing.
Date: December 25, 1803
Volume 3: Pages 143-144
Posted: 20251108